Erykah Badu Keeps it Real With Blender Magazine
April 23, 2008
How many people have you truly loved?
I’ve always wanted the best for the people in my life. Except for one person: Bombita. She was in the fifth grade with me. And she can die.
What?
She was mean. She used to step on my toes, anything to make me mad. I hope she’s a ghetto statistic. And if that keeps me out of Heaven, then so be it.
If we drug-tested you, what would we find?
Wheatgrass. Green juice. Any kind of zionic bacteria, like chlorophyll and spirulina. I’m drug-free, alcohol-free. Isn’t that boring? Maybe I should be Kid Rock for a day.
What would you do with that day?
If I was Kid Rock for a day, I would go to the hood and talk shit, just to see what would happen. Talk lots of shit and start some fights with some big black dudes.
I have a shoe fetish. And I spend a lot at Whole Foods.
At least food is nutritious. You don’t need more than one pair of shoes.
Are you crazy? Who are you? Now I’m pissed off.
Let’s say you wake up in the middle of the night, and we’re putting all your shoes into a bag. What would you do?
(laughs) I’d pull out my pistol and as I’m cocking the handle back, I’d ask you very nicely, “Put. The shoes back.” Slowly, so you would understand exactly what I’m saying. I think you would put the shoes back.
You’re probably right. What habit do you have that other people find annoying?
I’m late all the time. I have no perception of time. (laughs) Time is for white people. It doesn’t work with me.Who is your fantasy man?
Batman. He’d let me drive that fast car. We’d go to Whole Foods and hold hands and take a shot of wheatgrass together. We’d go up to the counter, and he’d pay. I’d have an invisible jet, so we’d fly away -leave the car there, let Robin take care of it-and kiss in midair. We wouldn’t care who sees us.
How would you describe your taste in sex?
I’m such an organized person that it takes all the fun out of spontaneous sex. It has to be organized the way I want: the clothes have to be folded up neatly, my own music has to be playing. It just adds to the whole show-it’s all about me, it’s my show.
Who was the last person you punched?
My sister. And was pregnant. (laughs) Well, she was talking shit!
Have you ever doubted your sexual orientation?
Never. I’ve had a boyfriend since I was 5. His name was Benny, and he could make gun noises by crushing a milk carton with his foot. The first person I ever kissed was Huber Miles, in third grade. Then I asked him for money. (laughs) I thought it was appropriate.
What does a kiss cost now?
You have to change gods and wear crochet pants. You haven’t heard about me?
One Response to “Erykah Badu Keeps it Real With Blender Magazine”
I love the interview. the page looks great and has great news. I will one of your stories one day.
By RIKA on Apr 24, 2008